Originally posted Aug 31, 2017 on www.energised.life

Someone asked me at the back end of last year, “If I had to meet myself for the first time, would I like me?” which I found really difficult to answer! I would probably find myself quite challenging but fun and clearly we’d have loads in common!

But it made me realise I was thinking about the person I wanted to be, rather than the person I was right then – I was reflecting on who I felt I had been before I got a little lost and how I might liked to have developed after becoming a Mum.

So I started thinking how I would get there. I didn’t want to be exactly the same person as before my daughter came along, but I hoped I could remember those strengths I felt made me ‘me’ and learn to like myself again.

When I was pregnant I undertook a Hypnobirthing course – not because I’m a particularly spiritual person, but because pregnancy and giving birth terrified me, like really terrified me. I thought hypnobirthing may help me stay calm when I needed it.

I really enjoyed a lot about the course, some of it didn’t speak to me – but one thing I did take from it was the positive affirmations. I stuck LOADS of little notes all around my house (My husband designed them to look cool rather than scabby post-it’s!) all at eye level on places that I would see often – like the mirror’s, kitchen cupboards, back of the front door etc. They would say things like “My body was built for this” or “I am calm and relaxed” (and some much more birth related ones!). So in the run up to giving birth I found myself repeating these affirmations, the more I saw them, the more I believed them – and they really helped.

So in December 2016, I adapted this principle to help me feel better about myself. I employed three tactics.

• AFFIRM –  like during pregnancy, but this time only on my own bathroom mirror I’d stick little messages like “I am happy just being me” or ” I am totally comfortable with myself“.
• SMILE! – I challenged myself to smile at my reflection every time I looked in a mirror.

Lastly, once I was comfortable with the first two steps, I went for:

• PROJECTION – I started making sure I was super friendly to random strangers! So to shop assistants I would always smile and ask about their day and wish them a nice afternoon for example.

Within a week of starting the first two, I immediately felt better. I’d even started smiling in every reflection whether it be a shop window or my car mirror. It became a habit and something I still do.

Simply smiling at myself made me seem happier in the mirror which then reflected in my mood and the way I felt about that reflection.

I’m now more comfortable in my own skin and not so disappointed about the way I look. I’ve even appeared in more photographs than usual and not baulked every time I saw a picture of me taken by someone else.

By projecting that feeling of acceptance I found it made me feel more worthwhile and the fact that I could encourage someone else to smile, gave me enjoyment.

So, when you’re feeling low try my 3 tips! AFFIRM, SMILE & PROJECT!

Let me know how you get on!